Please help others in need by writing a letter to your former self and discover how powerful self reflection can be. I will post letters as I receive them.
Send letters to: Biochemista@gmail.com. Submissions can be anonymous (you can also quickly create an email account to completely hide your identity) and can be as short as a paragraph.
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Submitted by Carly:
Dear Carly (8th grade),
I am writing this to you from the future, as your 23-year-old self (yes, you will actually get that old). It is of the up most importance that you follow my instructions, because it will change your life and save you from a world of pain and regret.
Around Christmas this year, you will get that “feeling” that you think you like a certain boy in your grade. You’ve had this feeling a million times, pretty much about everyone in your grade, and it quickly passes. You’re only 14! When this moment happens, you need to let it pass. It will.
If you don’t follow this instruction, you will waste the next 5 years of your life. That boy is poison. He will become controlling. You will fight all the time. You will feel trapped in a dangerous relationship. However, if you listen to me and avoid him, you will be freed from guilt and regret.
When you get to college, you are going to start dating your husband. Remember that list of things you want in a husband that you wrote a few months ago? You always wonder if that person exists. He does. He is your dream man, and a few years later, he is going to propose to you! He will bring you more happiness than you can imagine. Just wait for him.
Now, let’s talk about the other issues you’re struggling with. I know that your self-esteem is bad right now, but I hate to tell you, if you stay with that boy, it’s only going to get worse. He will make you feel worthless. When you get to college, you need to stay away from fast food. You can still have fun without living an unhealthy lifestyle. Sleeping until 4PM, never exercising, and eating out for every meal is horrible, and if you don’t listen to me, you’re going to gain 20 pounds!
I have good news, though. You will learn how to cook and exercise, and by the time your 23rd birthday rolls around, you will be in the best shape of your life, and at a perfectly healthy weight. You may not be fully satisfied with your appearance, and maybe you never will be, but you will be a lot closer to that point. One day, you will understand that you are God’s perfect creation, you are unique, and you have someone who loves you just the way you are. You will realize how lucky you are.
Just follow my instructions, and you will avoid all the heartache. But, if you don’t listen, it’s OK. Growing up is about making mistakes. You will make plenty, but I promise, you will turn out just fine. Always tell your family how much you love them!
Love,
Carly
I am writing this to you from the future, as your 23-year-old self (yes, you will actually get that old). It is of the up most importance that you follow my instructions, because it will change your life and save you from a world of pain and regret.
Around Christmas this year, you will get that “feeling” that you think you like a certain boy in your grade. You’ve had this feeling a million times, pretty much about everyone in your grade, and it quickly passes. You’re only 14! When this moment happens, you need to let it pass. It will.
If you don’t follow this instruction, you will waste the next 5 years of your life. That boy is poison. He will become controlling. You will fight all the time. You will feel trapped in a dangerous relationship. However, if you listen to me and avoid him, you will be freed from guilt and regret.
When you get to college, you are going to start dating your husband. Remember that list of things you want in a husband that you wrote a few months ago? You always wonder if that person exists. He does. He is your dream man, and a few years later, he is going to propose to you! He will bring you more happiness than you can imagine. Just wait for him.
Now, let’s talk about the other issues you’re struggling with. I know that your self-esteem is bad right now, but I hate to tell you, if you stay with that boy, it’s only going to get worse. He will make you feel worthless. When you get to college, you need to stay away from fast food. You can still have fun without living an unhealthy lifestyle. Sleeping until 4PM, never exercising, and eating out for every meal is horrible, and if you don’t listen to me, you’re going to gain 20 pounds!
I have good news, though. You will learn how to cook and exercise, and by the time your 23rd birthday rolls around, you will be in the best shape of your life, and at a perfectly healthy weight. You may not be fully satisfied with your appearance, and maybe you never will be, but you will be a lot closer to that point. One day, you will understand that you are God’s perfect creation, you are unique, and you have someone who loves you just the way you are. You will realize how lucky you are.
Just follow my instructions, and you will avoid all the heartache. But, if you don’t listen, it’s OK. Growing up is about making mistakes. You will make plenty, but I promise, you will turn out just fine. Always tell your family how much you love them!
Love,
Carly
* * *
Submitted by Naomi:
Dear Naomi,
I just wanted to talk to you a bit about the rough patch that you are going through at this time in your life and I am here to assure you that not only will it pass, but you will feel empowered, strong and vibrant like never before after I get done writing this letter. Why is it that you and your friends cared so much what Mary (made up name to keep privacy) thought about you? Was Mary in charge of your life, body, image, clothing and way of acting? Naomi, you have to understand that you have been blessed with the gift of life and YOU my dear, run your own life. In 15 years, who knows where Mary will be, what she is doing for a living, who her friends are, what her hobbies are.... what matters is what you think of yourself. You will look back at this and want to laugh that you cared so much what others thought of you. Did you wear the ‘right colored pants’ to school? Did you have the coolest backpack, did you pack your own lunch but not eat it in the cafeteria because it was ‘not cool’ What made you do these things. Now, I want you to think how empowering it would feel if YOU were the one to choose what you wear to school everyday, YOU choose what you eat and when you eat it, YOU choose the backpack you want because well, that’s the one you like. You should never do things because other people are telling you to. Does what you do in your life now have anything to do with what Mary thought of you? I didn't think so.
Naomi, I remember that day in middle school, you were 14 years old and it was during lunch. You heard a rumor that ‘your friends’ were drinking alcohol in the girls bathroom. Your heart started racing, you started getting anxious, nervous and sweaty, not because you were worried about your friends getting caught but you were worried about what they would think of you if you DIDN’T join them. Your life would be ruined, right?...WRONG. You will feel empowered and strong and you will smile deep down knowing you were way too young to drink alcohol, let alone on school property and let alone that you just had no interest. DON’T get scared about doing the right thing and doing what works for you. In the long run, it will make you a stronger person.
I remember when you and your friends would go shopping and they would try on tight, small clothes, look in the mirror and strut their stuff. You would usually walk out with a hair accessory and perfume from Claires. Why didn’t you want to try on clothes with your friends, Naomi? You were and still are beautiful. Sure you weren’t stick skinny, but you. are. BEAUTIFUL. Embrace what you have; Brains, beauty, amazing sister, daughter, granddaughter, friend and person. Feel free to sit back in awe and disbelief when your friend get caught stealing clothing at a high end store (yes that happened) ALWAYS stand by what you believe in, and what you stand for.
ALWAYS show your family how thankful you are to have them. Your mom and dad not only put you on this earth, but love you beyond what you can imagine. They are and always were here for YOU and your brother. They always wanted the best for you and would drop anything at anytime to make you happy. Never take them for granted. When you are in a bad mood—don’t take it out on them, they don’t deserve it. Instead, share with them what you are feeling and I promise, they will help you through it. I know these years are difficult to show your appreciation, love and affection for your parents, but try, just try to make an effort to show how much you love and need them in your life. And when you went on your 'first date' with your boyfriend in 7th grade, and you got so upset that your dad stayed with you in the movie theater--he was being a good father and protective, he wasn't trying to make you upset. You weren't 21, you were 14 years old. Listen to your parents.
Your dad always told you every single day "Never be ordinary & make a difference" You would brush the words off like they were nothing, but really deep down I know you wanted to never be ordinary. You never were, and never will be. Go to the beat of your own drum, Naomi and never forget that.
LIVE LOVE AND ALWAYS BE YOU
Sincerely & with love,
Naomi
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Submitted by Julie (a poem):
Fat free this and low carb that
I ate everything light so I wouldn't get fat
I never felt satisfied
I never felt full
100 calorie packs of nothing…
How's that for fuel?
Then one day
A light bulb clicked
And something changed
My mind had been tricked
Those Lean Cuisines
And frozen meals
We’re doing nothing for…
My healthy ideal
The way I was eating
Was totally deranged
Not enough veggies or fruit
My diet was strange
My mom's breast cancer diagnosis
Hit me hard
I wanted to change my eating
My health, I would guard
A Lean Pocket doesn't pack…
Much of a nutritional punch
I tossed those out
In favor of greens and protein for lunch
Dinners became full...
Of whole grains and legumes
I started reading healthy living blogs
And was totally consumed
These girls ate food
That was whole and real
Not fat free or light
But complete, nutritious meals
My goal then started...
To change a bit
Skinny wasn't my priority
Nope, not one bit
All of the sudden my health came first
And my mind was made up
I would eat and feel satisfied
Not hungry and fed up
With a change in my diet
Came a change in my mood
I found myself more energetic
And happier, too
We are what we eat
Or so they say
I'm not fat-free or light
And I wouldn't have it any other way
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From Jess at Glutenfreesta:
Dear Jessica (writing to a 10 year old self),
You are beautiful and you are strong. No matter what anyone says to you to try to bring you down, you must always believe in yourself and know that others’ hate and hurtful words are not a true reflection of who you really are. Beauty comes from within and is not measured by your weight or the size of your jeans. Treat yourself and your body as a precious gift. Drown out those people’s comments with the support you hear from your family and real friends. Adolescence is not easy for anyone and life always gets better. When you grow up you are going to succeed as long as you believe in who you are and always strive for the best version of yourself.
Love,
Jessica
From Tina at Faithfitnessfun.com:
*This is written to my college self. Thank God things have changed in the past 6+ years. And it is my goal to help others not have to feel that pain a moment longer than necessary. I hope anyone else out there experiencing these feelings knows they have the power to change it.
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From Stefanie at The New Healthy:
Dear Stefanie of the past,
I wish I could show you how happy you would be if you would just grab life by the horns and start living! I want you to know that sleeping away your days does not solve your problems, nor does it make you any less accountable for the decisions you make. Alcohol will not take away the unhappiness either, in fact it will only make things worse.
I wish I could tell you that the solution to your depression could be summed up in two simple words: GET MOVING. You will soon know that it is exercise, not laziness, and it is nourishing whole foods, not drive-through joints, that will bring you to the exact point at which you wish to be. Stop looking for that magic pill or that “easy way out” andmake your life what you want it to be. It will take trial and error, success and failure, but you will get there.
I wish I could tell you that this often-said phrase: “I can’t run and I never will,” will be so false that you’ll look back and laugh! I wish I could tell you that the one form of exercise you’ve avoided your entire life would become one of your favorite hobbies. And not only a hobby, but a true love.
I will tell you this: when your dreams become your reality, they will be worth more than their weight in gold. Happiness is not the end-all, happiness is the journey. The journey is never-ending, dynamic, and fluid. But you’ll be okay with that, because it’s YOUR journey and you will own it!
Live each day as if it were your last. Take nothing for granted. Live, laugh, and love beyond words.
<3 Your Future Self
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To my 14-year-old self:
Today something terrible will happen, you will feel like you may never stop crying and that your family will never be the same or to able to laugh again. That you will only have pain and sorrow. Today your big Brother will die in a car accident and your body will go numb, you will not believe it at first you will tell everyone it was the other guy that died, it cant be him he was your big brother, he was your only brother you idolized him, he was your hero. He was your Mom and Dad's only son , he was only 18.
You will make a lot of bad choices in the next 3 years and do a lot of stupid things trying to find something to make you feel happy and not miss your brother so much, you will try to take his place and become the life of every party! You will wish you had not done most of these things and be very ashamed about many more, you will date guys that only care about drinking and doing drugs and that do not respect you.
Your family will make it through the heartbreak they will smile and laugh and enjoy life again, you and your sister will become closer than ever before. And you will learn to never take loved ones for granted.
When you are 17 you will meet an amazing man who loves you so much you can see it and feel it every time he looks at you. And you will be so in love with him that your heart speeds up and you will feel weak in the knees when he enters the room . He will tell you how beautiful you are and will be completely devoted to you and you to him. You will elope after 1 year of dating. Your life will be full of joy and happiness. He will give you 3 beautiful children a great son with too little girls then 3 additional little sisters that you will welcome into your family.
After 21 years of marriage he will continue to treat you like a princess he will buy you a wedding dress, rent a tux and take you to the beach with a professional photographer for the wedding pictures you never got. On this day your world will fall apart but with God's help you will put it back together, you will be happy, successful and enjoy every day to its fullest.
You will survive,
Bo
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Dear Tina,
How are you feeling today? My guess is pretty hung over and maybe even wondering what you did last night. Oh, Tina. I love you and I want your life to be filled with more than the self indulgent things that only hurt you. Alcohol will not help you escape the pain you feel from your father. Restricting your food will not help you get healthy or have more control over life. If anything, it does the opposite since each time results in another binge, each bigger and more frequent than before. Having sex with someone will not bring you love. Can’t you see?
Can’t you see how much more worth you have? Let me give a glimpse into your future. You will be the guide and teacher to this little soul.
You don’t want her to hurt how you do. You don’t want her to feel the same insecurity and shame. And you know what? She won’t because you will learn to love yourself. Why not go ahead and start now? Why not see yourself through God’s eyes and recognize the blessings that surround you? Why not have faith that things will improve? I’m here to tell you they will.
You are stronger than you think. God has faith in you and I do too. Each day you have a new opportunity to live life fully. Each moment you can decide to grasp joy. Each decision you make can be a chance to love yourself. You deserve that love and it starts with you. Stop restricting and binging. Start fearing food less and loving health more. Start doing things you love and searching out your passions. I’ll even give you a hint – start a blog about wellness, fitness, and life. ;) Go back to church and create more meaningful relationships. Forgive so you can let go of the pain and embrace love from others and in yourself. Please, Tina. Please. Don’t wait to live.
Love,
Tina
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From Robby at I Go Through Life in Inches and Pounds:
Dear Roberta, aged 7 or so (as you won't be called Robby for many years to come):
First of all, I want to assuage your fears -- there will be some bumps in the road ahead, but no matter what life throws at you, you will always find a reservoir of strength in some way or another to get you through. So don't find this letter as cause for alarm--you will be okay.
The thing is this: your parents aren't perfect and aren't necessarily going to know everything about how to raise you correctly. This is because they, themselves, had parents that didn't know everything about how to raise them correctly. They are also too afraid to admit this to themselves and to you. As a kid, you really have no choice but to follow their lead. Don't worry about this--their reign over you is a finite span of time. After this, you will be able to make your own choices and determine the paths you take in life.
It's not all rainbows and butterflies, though. You will experience the loss of people very close to you and deal with it in unhealthy ways. Again, don't worry--you do not become a drug addict, a college drop-out, or give in to the despair. You find a way through it. It might be messy and imperfect, but the chutzpah and resourcefulness you have will get you through it.
I wish I could go back in time and guide you through what's going to happen to you over the next couple of years, but the only reason I am who I am right now is because of all that happens -- good and bad. So for now, I can just hold you in my heart a little while and feel compassion that you will have to go it alone for the most part.
I'm still cleaning up the aftermath of all that, but I'm doing this for you and me. I'm doing this for us. I'm doing this because you deserved to be taken care of better. You deserved to have someone notice how much pain you were in and how much grief you were hiding. You deserved to have proper meals, and more family activities that didn't involve the warmth of a television. You deserved to have parents who loved you and the body they created. You deserved to have parents who could place your needs over their insecurities. It might be a little late, but you know this now.
It's 10:30 and past your bedtime, and approaching mine. But if you could reach out into the future and send me some of your dreams, I'll try my best to live them.
-Robby
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